Loneliness
The pop singer Britney Spears sings "my loneliness is killing me" and then goes on to sing "hit me baby one more time". I understand that Britney is selling her songs more for their entertainment value (I can't believe I said that) than for her deep, thoughtful lyrics. But still, this song somehow struck a chord in millions of people. Those lyrics represent a feeling that will only lead to more and more of the same loneliness – different lover. I guess that's what makes pop music survive.
Do you want out of the cycle of loneliness? Wanting one more hit of your last lover is the last thing you need. If you are feeling the pang of loss from your last boyfriend or girlfriend, I invite you to feel the full effects of your loneliness. Loneliness points out your aloneness. Loneliness may suggest to you that you aren't acceptable to another. Perhaps you feel that you don't know HOW to be in an intimate relationship. Stop the cycle by first accepting that you ARE alone in this world. There is no one who will come along and solve the mystery of your life for you. Yet as a human being, you are wired to be in relationships with other people. Being aware of our aloneness as well as our oneness with others helps to bring the feeling of loneliness from the physical to the spiritual dimension. There is no loneliness in your connection to the Spirit of Love.
I believe the biggest physical pain of loneliness comes from feeling like you are not acceptable to another person. Stop the cycle by learning to accept yourself. More than that – LOVE yourself. When you discover that you can love yourself no matter what, you will find that relationships of all kinds come easier for you. Your oneness with ALL others becomes clearer when you connect to the source of all Love – the Love that is not dependent on someone's acceptance of you. Relying on someone else's opinion of you leads to a see-saw effect that follows the whims of another. The stability of unconditional love for yourself will keep you immune from being yanked around by the flakiness of someone else. You might find someone who will commit to loving you unconditionally, but you wouldn't know it unless you learn to love yourself in the same way. Loving yourself unconditionally gives you the ability to love others in the same way. It's the perfect foundation for a lasting, fulfilling, loving relationship.
By Susan and Steve Anderson of buildingpositiverelationships.com